Happy almost Father’s Day!
As a close friend once said, “life is about collecting memories of value, not things”. This weekend, I am wishing those whose fathers are alive and within distance of reach a very memorable day together.
Just like many fathers out there, my dad couldn’t easily show affection or be direct. When I was young, his communication was usually mixed with humor, anger, or frustration, and I didn’t have the skills to look through his outer shell, understand his story, or find a way to connect with him. Then, in the late 90s, I moved to the states which made even a phone call quite an expense.
But now, thanks to technology, I get to call my dad for free and as often as I like. Every year I wish him a happy Father’s Day his reply is exactly the same: “Happy Father’s Day to you as well, you are Chicago’s father.” At first, I laughed it off as I am million miles away from such a title, but then I realized it was his way of sharing his concern that I take on too much. I started learning how to locate the messages, feelings, and thoughts behind his layers.
As the years have gone by, his rock-hard outer shell has been worn down by the nature of life. His choice of words became sweeter, and tighter hugs followed. I had to adjust to this new man and reconcile my list of grievances from childhood. I’m still working on it every time we talk, and I find myself pause as he calls me my baby, my one and only, and so on. Every chance I get to interact with him, I remind myself of my desire to collect memories of value. I want to cherish the time we spend together and get to know him some more.
If you do have your father within reach, I wish you many moments of value together – hopefully enough to last a lifetime. Nothing and no one can change the past, but the present and future are within our means to shape, moment by moment.
Happy Father’s Day,
– Burak Sarac, Team Lead
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