|Among many other things, tomorrow is ‘Let It Go Day.’ Chances are, we all have something that has overstayed its welcome. Sometimes it’s an item like an old pair of jeans or a concert ticket from many years ago; other times, it’s a negative feeling from 5 minutes or maybe even 5 years ago. We know it needs to go, but we don’t know how to let it go. This week, I’ll give you some helpful pointers on the process of letting go of negative experiences, thoughts, and feelings. As a bonus, I’ll send you lots of good vibes to succeed because once you do, not only will you feel much lighter, but you will also create space for something new.
You have power over your mind
The human brain is complex. It can be your strongest supporter or toughest adversary. The capacity to release past concerns begins with it. Making a conscious choice not to allow previous issues or people who have harmed us to drive our mind can interrupt the cycle of obsession on these events and emotions. When I make the wrong turn and go down the gloomy path, the narrative about myself goes like “I’m inadequate,” “I’m unlovable,” and “nobody cares for me.” The more I dwell on it, the more room my mind makes for emotions of pain, anger, and frustration to grow and entirely spoil my mood. While I’m still learning to catch myself, it’s critical to continue observing my thoughts without linking myself to them. The truth is, your thoughts don’t determine your worth. Thoughts are just that—thoughts. The choices we make about what to do with them can either build us up or tear us down.
Don’t let it consume you, get it all out
Being able to express your feelings in a positive manner is crucial for understanding them before choosing to move on. Getting stuck and going in circles about details from past events is never healthy, but understanding why you feel the way you do and how you can handle similar situations differently in the future is. Being heard, understood, and supported is incredibly important instead of trying to contain the fallout. Reflecting is a great place to start; however, confiding in a reliable friend, a family member, or a therapist is also extremely helpful. I’ve found that therapy is one of the most effective ways to get impartial advice and support throughout my journey of healing and letting go.
Accept the unacceptable
All of us crave understanding about why things turned out as they did or how someone could cause us such harm with apparent disregard. We feel entitled to these answers, desiring a level of comprehension. The harsh reality, however, is that we don’t always receive the “closure” we believe we’re entitled to. Not receiving answers and having to proceed in life without closure is challenging, but it’s a reality many of us have to face at some point. The only way forward when it comes to healing is accepting the situation for what it is, rather than wishing for it to be different. This extends beyond situations to people as we need to accept them for who they genuinely are and trust their shown character.
“When you forgive, you heal. When you let go, you grow.” – Anonymous
In order to move on, sometimes it’s necessary to forgive those who can’t even say, “I’m sorry.” Occasionally, you must accept an apology that you’ll never receive. This requires tremendous strength, bravery, and humility. Although it might seem unjust and backwards, that’s just how life is at times. Nothing is more damaging than nurturing resentment towards someone or something for years while they have moved on. The reality is that this only affects you. Therefore, learning to forgive ourselves is very important. Self-forgiveness can start with writing a letter to yourself that has compassion and understanding. It also helps to underline your decision to learn from past mistakes.
NOW — the most precious thing
We cannot change the past, and the future remains unwritten. The present is all we truly possess. By consciously choosing to remain receptive to what lies before us, we maximize our enjoyment of life. Being present requires patience, practice, and mindfulness. Yet, this is the only path to receiving the gifts, opportunities, and blessings that life presents us.
I hope you’ve identified that one thing you wish to let go of. By this time next week, as we move on to another topic, you shall be well on your way to accomplishing that.
– Burak Sarac, Team Lead